It hurts to go back in time. And yet I do it every single day since I had to leave that place. I do it because it pains me that they could never see me like I am, in 5 years time. And they don't even know how much they scarred me. With their high heads and cruel words. With their fake love, their whispers and their stares. Whispering about me, about the nothing I was, about the nothing I am.
They think I don't know the pain of regret, or the taste of a spontaneous decision. They think I have it all planed, and so they pretend to envy me. But they only want to make me envy them. And they do.
My envy made me miserable, knowing I could never belong to their world. And I just wanted the pain to stop. I still do, I want it so bad to make it go away! But these memories keep the pain alive, and I can't help but be miserable.
I hope... I truly hope I get to taste happiness soon, because all I want right now is to forget and to move on.
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